3. They have made peace with their past. These are the parents that have recognized the areas in which they messed up (especially in the area of sex and dating) and have been able to accept God’s forgiveness. It blows us away at what a difference this makes in the relationship between parents and teens.
4. They talk talk talk talk talk and talk some more about sex and relationships. They talk about temptation. They talk about boundaries. They talk about what choices their peers are making. They talk about a latest crush. They talk about waiting for God’s best. While this is an ongoing conversation throughout the teens years, the conversation usually starts around 10 or 11!
Have you ever stopped to think much about your destiny? Have you ever wondered why God has placed you in the life you’re in? Often when life gets busy, we forget that our lives have a much deeper purpose set by God than we realize. God has placed each one of us on this earth for a reason. That’s a powerful and humbling thought!
While I’ve heard my share of sermons on my destiny; I recall hearing very few (if any..) on the destiny of my family. So it’s a novel thought when I stop and consider that not only was I put on this earth by God for a reason – but my family was also. Have you ever considered that? This concept has seriously changed the way I parent, and even the way I view my family as a whole.
Fred Stoeker (Bottom right) and his family
One of our Reconnect Weekend speakers is Fred Stoeker. I first heard him speak on family destiny when he joined our team at a church in Jakarta, Indonesia, last fall. I sat intently listening to his message, and was amazed at the wisdom he imparted to all in attendance. When it came time for him to wrap up, he invited everyone to the altar so he could pray for them and their families. As I watched the entire church walk to the front for prayer, I knew that God was moving. I’m so excited for those of you joining us at our conferences, to receive a vision from God for their family.
Hope to see your family there!
It’s a beautiful morning. There you sit, relaxing over a cup of Henry’s Blend coffee and reading the morning paper. After finishing an article on families, you reflect for a moment on your own blessings. Adventurous Prince #1, Daring Prince #2, and Precious Princess #3. Ahh yes, life is full and joyous. Activity nearby causes your thoughts to be disrupted and you hear “princess” getting her breakfast. It’s then you look up, astonished at what you see. “Princess” is practically a woman.
I think this moment hits just about every parent, with each of our children when they seem to grow up overnight. There are many things we can do, but I’ll leave the epistles to another and just give you two ideas!
1. Give her things in stages. For example, every new thing we give our girls can be a rite of passage for them. So if you’ve let them do everything from painting their nails, talking for hours on the phone or given them a cell phone by the time they’re 8 years old, what will they get to do at 12? Will you have run out of things? Book recommendation: Six Ways to Keep the “Little” in Your Girl by Dannah Gresh
2. Be her source of information. Let her feel free to come to you with any questions she has about growing older, her body changes, friends, etc. Her questions are so important to her, and we never want our daughters to be afraid or feel ashamed to come to us. It’s also important that we give out information before she asks! She may feel embarrassed to ask you certain questions, and might get information from a friend instead. By you starting the conversation, you are letting her know that this information is important, and you’re happy to discuss anything with her. Book recommendation: Beautifully Made by Julie Hiramine, and The Wonderful Way Babies Are Made by Larry Christenson
Just remember Mom, you are doing a great job! Don’t ever let past mistakes, either from your youth or in recent years, keep you feeling bad about yourself as a parent! God says: Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV