The Supreme Court Ruling: 3 Ways Parents Can Respond

KeepCalm-1If you’ve seen any of the articles online about the Supreme Court ruling in favor of same-sex marriage, you’ve probably sensed the issue is emotionally charged. People are so happy. And others are so mad. This is a critical time for the church and for Christian parents. What should we do in light of this ruling? Things are getting confusing. We’ve put our heads together at Generations of Virtue to give 3 ways parents can respond and help their children navigate this confusing time.

1. Talk to your kids about homosexuality. If you haven’t explained homosexuality to your children and they are at an age where they are starting to key into all the hype in the media (and possibly among their peer groups), now is the time. This is your opportunity to communicate what God’s word says about homosexuality. Our kids need to hear the truth from God’s word about this lifestyle. Some key verses to start with include Leviticus 18:22, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Romans 1:26-28. Another point you might consider making with your children is that even though the Supreme Court made the choice to legalize gay marriage, it does not mean that this was the right choice. It’s an unfortunate truth we have to share with our children, but governments and rulers don’t always make the right choices (shocking, I know). Finally, tell your children the truth about the differences between men and women and why God designed a family to be a man, a woman, and children. (I’ll list some resources below to help with this discussion). It helps children to know this truth from a young age given all the press in our media trying to convince them of the virtues of alternative lifestyles.

2. Show your children how to show the love of Christ to gay people. We should take a lot of comfort in the fact that it’s not our job to judge people. When I was in university, I took a job where my immediate superior was another student who identified himself as a homosexual. I asked the Lord how I should interact with my new boss. He told me to be his friend and to respect the authority of his position. I did that. I became his friend and we got along wonderfully. The truth was, he was really good at his job, and it was easy to follow his lead because he was doing a great job. I don’t think we should be afraid of befriending homosexuals or teaching our children how to befriend them in healthy and beneficial ways. It’s true that we need to approach friendships carefully (whether they be with homosexuals or heterosexuals) and who we allow to spend time (especially time alone) with our kids. This is a topic for spouses to discuss. But please don’t let fear steal a chance to show a homosexual Christ’s love. The truth is, homosexuals are hurting people who need the truth of the Gospel. They are living a lifestyle of sexual immorality – the consequences of which are devastating. At the same time, I know many heterosexual Christians who are living in a similar state of sexual immorality. And as the church we embrace them.

3. Don’t be intimidated. Like I mentioned earlier, there is a lot of emotional hype in the media right now concerning this decision. Don’t let it take you for a ride. Keep calm and parent on. The truth is, God is on His throne and He still calls the shots. A couple months ago I had the privilege of hearing Dr. Michael Brown speak in Singapore. He had a great insight about the LGBT agenda in the U.S. As a way of paraphrase, he said we shouldn’t fear the separation that will come between the people who interpret the scripture (about homosexuality) through the lens of culture and those who will follow God’s word in spirit and in truth. There is some separation happening in the church right now. Which side do you want your family to end up on? Finally, don’t let the enemy intimidate you by the Supreme Court’s decision. Instead of responding in fear, take this opportunity to ask the Lord how to respond. And finally, speak to your children. Help them to know the truth of God’s word and what He has to say about homosexuality. Let them know the truth and let the truth set them free from all the confusion encapsulating this issue. To quote Rick Warren, “truth, is still truth, no matter how many people doubt it. I may deny the law of gravity, but it doesn’t change gravity. And just because we break God’s laws, does not invalidate them.” Don’t be afraid to share the truth with your kids. Kingdoms will fall and rulings will be forgotten, but the word of God will stand.

One final thought: be prayerful as you address this issue with your children. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and answers. Ask Him how your family should respond to this ruling.

Below I’ve listed some articles and books I’ve found really helpful in discussing the issue of homosexuality in light of our current culture. I hope you find them helpful!

Same-Sex Marriage: A Thoughtful Approach to God’s Design for Marriage by Sean McDowell and John Stonestreet
God’s Design for Sex Series by Stan and Brenna Jones (Book 3 – What’s the Big Deal – has a chapter specifically about homosexuality)
Focus on the Family’s How to Talk to Your Kids about Homosexuality
Interview with John Stonestreet webinar by Generations of Virtue
Short video with Dr. Michael Brown explaining the context of the Levitical scriptures

– Megan Briggs

Megan joined the Generations of Virtue team to become the Product Manager, a position which keeps her busy researching, reading resources, managing inventory and speaking to young people.

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17 thoughts on “The Supreme Court Ruling: 3 Ways Parents Can Respond

  1. A family went on a vacation to Hawaii. One of the sights they saw was a stream of lava. One of the kids was getting too close to the lava, so the parents told him to back away from it. Another member of the tour group started screaming at the parents for being judgmental Christian bigots, and told them that the child naturally wants to play by the hot lava so they should just let him be himself.

    • Shane, thank you for your comment and for reading my post! I admit your comment took me a minute to wrap my mind around it, but it’s a great analogy! God bless you!

  2. concerns about leaving your child alone with a homosexual NEWS FLASH lady I was raped by a STRAIGHT HETEROSEXUAL MALE as a child.

    • Stephen, thank you for your comment, and thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am very sorry to hear about your experience as a child. I sincerely feel for you and am praying for you. My intention in putting that phrase in the blog post was to prompt parents to think about the people they leave their children alone with. Sexual abuse is a concern with anyone these days (a sad reality of the time and culture we live in). Statistics have shown that children are most often abused by those they know and trust – not strangers. I agree with you that parents should be concerned about whoever they choose to leave their children with – heterosexual or homosexual – but as the point I was making was about befriending homosexuals, I’m afraid the implication came that one only needs to be cautious with homosexuals. I’m sorry about that, and in consideration of your comment I did change the wording to reflect my original intention. I think we both agree, though, that parents just need to be careful with their kids! I think the best thing you can do to protect your kids is to warn them (in an age-appropriate way) about inappropriate and appropriate touch. A friend of mine wrote a really good book to do this – it’s called The Swimsuit Lesson. If you have kids, I hope you’ll check it out. If you are a believer, another really powerful thing to do is to pray for your kids’ protection. God bless you!

  3. An homosexual is not a pervert (“leaving your children alone with them”); most of the perverts and child abusers are heterosexual males, usually married. You shouldn’t be afraid of homosexuals more than the nanny you leave your kids with for hours.

    • Virginia, thank you for your comment and taking the time to read my blog post! As I mentioned to Stephen (comment below), I see now I should have been a little more clear with that statement about leaving your kids alone with homosexuals. I agree with you that parents should be concerned about whoever they choose to leave their children with – heterosexual or homosexual – but as the point I was making was about befriending a homosexual, I’m afraid the implication came that one only needs to be cautious with homosexuals. In light of your comment and others, I have changed the wording of the post to reflect my original intention. I appreciate your feedback! Unfortunately, in our day and age, parents need to vet anyone they leave their children with – even family members, and like you mentioned, nannies. It’s a very sad truth of our time. If you have kids, I hope you’ll check out the book The Swimsuit Lesson, written by a friend of mine. It explains inappropriate and appropriate touch to children in a gentle way. Another thing you can do (the most powerful one, I believe) is to pray for God’s protection over your children. God bless you!

  4. This is really a wonderful read.
    However I’m just bothered with Rick Warren’s quote. The word truth is relative, He should instead have used the word ‘Fact’ it’s kind of absolute.
    Just saying.

    • Jb, thank you for your comment and for reading the post! I hope you found it helpful – despite the semantics on the Rick Warren quote. God bless you!

  5. Yes the article doesnt tell you to shun gays but it teaches kids that gays are hurting people, live a devastating lifestyle of immorality and that God designed a family to be only a man and a woman. That is teaching your kids the very essence of bigotry. It’s like saying you can befriend gays but don’t forget how dirty and damaged they are. What hypocrisy. And what would the parent do if your daughter or son were gay?
    If i were a parent and as a devout Christian, I would tell my kids to respect and love everyone regardless of sexual preference, race or color. No ifs or buts or any form of judgment. Period.

    • Christian, thank you for taking the time to read my post and express your opinion on it. For the sake of clarity I’d like to explain: my aim was to encourage parents to talk to their children about this issue, not necessarily to tell them what to say. The reason is different families have different standards, and parents are ultimately responsible for what they teach their children. If they are Christians, I want to encourage them to use the scriptures to explain God’s viewpoint on it. And I do believe you’re right in saying that kids should be taught to “respect and love everyone regardless of sexual preference, race or color.” I believe this would be practicing what Jesus told us to do and what he modeled for us. It would be teaching kids to demonstrate the love of Christ to homosexuals, which is something I encouraged parents to do in the post 🙂 God bless you!

  6. We parent the best we know how. We would want to be careful with the people our children associate with; we evaluate their character & worldview before we entrust our children in their company or care. Sexuality is but one of the many things we take into consideration. The important thing to remember is to talk to our children about sexuality, just as we talk to them about other issues of life that build their character and worldview.

    • Carol – thank you for your comment! It is so encouraging to hear from parents who honestly care about their children and want to do the best for them. I believe this is a reflection of the heart of God when parents take such care.

  7. Agree with you that we should not be led by all the media (whether pro- or anti-homosexuality) on this issue but instead we should pray and ask God to show us how we are to respond. One of the things He has shown me is that we must love those who persecute us, those who accuse us, and those who hate us. So let us not label people nor judge them. Let us show Christ’s love and compassion while at the same time be alert and discerning. We mustn’t mistake the mission field for the enemy!

    • Anne, wise words! Thank you so much for sharing. I think we would be doing well if we could accurately demonstrate Christ’s love. May that be our life’s goal!

  8. Personally I really love the book ‘The Swimsuit Lesson’. A good and easy read with a very powerful lesson on how children can protect themselves. I believe what’s important is that parents speak factually and openly about these issues. In addition to the conversations, prayer is a great way to cover the children.

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